google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize