So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
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