literally had 100 drinks last night.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
