it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
