i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
