I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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