so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
