The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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