I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
