it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
