Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
