i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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