sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
