in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
