I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
