You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
