I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
