I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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