Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
