i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
