Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
