I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
