It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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