He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
