Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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