I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
