I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I skipped work to stalk him.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
