your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
