I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
