Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We have started to decorate penises.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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