Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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