I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
