Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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