she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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