i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
