yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
