Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just want nice things and good sex
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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