are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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