Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
