Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
