And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
