he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
