I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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