I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
