He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
