Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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