Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
