Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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