No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
she smelled like a LAN party
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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