im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
