Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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