thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
