It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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