you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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