I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
