I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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